Mindful Morning

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay 

I open and close my eyes as I stir in bed listening to a gentle tone of dings that progress loudly as seconds pass. It’s a tone I chose because it was a change from that original sharp shriek-like tone—if it could even be called a tone, that startles me from sleep.

A yawn ensues as I sit up, my feet on the cold floor, and take a few steps to the other side of the room. I press DISMISS on my phone, glad to have thought of placing it atop my bureau as it encourages me to get up from bed and stay up. 

After a few gentle stretches, I fold my legs and sit on a folded towel—hoping they can keep from falling asleep.

I settle into the towel placing my hands on my lap. My earphones are in and I begin to pay attention to my breathing as the meditation guide suggest.

Breath in slow, breath out slow.
Breath in through your nose, out through your nose.
Breath in slow, breath out slow.
I forgot to make that call yesterday, I hope I remember to do it today.
Breath in, breath out slow- counting if it helps to concentrate
Breath in, Breath out one... two... three... four... five
Breath in, Breath out one... two... three... four... five
I shouldn’t have said what I said to him yesterday, why did I say that? .... Am I spoiling him by doing this?...  I’m trying my best...
Breath in, breath out one... two... three... four... five
Breath in, breath out slowly- counting your exhale.
Breath in, Breath out one... two... three... four... five
Oh no, my leg’s falling asleep already. I should refold them
Breath in, breath out-
Damn it, now I gotta sit knees bent in front of me
_______

This is an update from August 20 when I made a commitment to practice mindful sitting every day. It has been ten days so far. I’ve been waking up early to sit for ten to fifteen minutes. I pretty much just described how it goes. Aside from the above, sometimes my mind will make up a story about possible situations.

Sometimes though, it is very peaceful and I don’t linger on my thoughts for too long, remembering to let them go and just enjoy sitting—mostly when my leg doesn’t fall asleep. If it does fall asleep then I have to reposition myself and then I’m focused on the tingling sensation of the blood rushing back to my leg. This morning however, I tried mindful laying. I don’t know how people meditate for longer than ten minutes without their leg falling asleep.

One thing I noticed is that when I sit without letting my thoughts stay too long I am more inclined to be present and I can focus more—at least in my morning tasks.  

So far I am glad I started this. I am going to continue my commitment to sit mindfully every morning for ten to fifteen minutes, adding more minutes later whenever I feel ready to do that.

Perhaps I will find a way to sit without my legs falling asleep.